What dreams do come (( this post depicts violence and mental health stuff reader discretion is advised))

Posted on 22 Aug 2024 @ 8:39pm by 2nd Lieutenant Cassandra Mathews

1,459 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: General Sim Postings
Location: Quarters of 2nd Lt Mathews

ON:

4 years ago-


Her heart beat furiously as she listened to the soft tones of Doctor Tevren Antako. He was in a good mood today. Proven by the fact that he'd undone her chest and waist straps and had allowed Cassandra the privilege of sitting up. He was talking. God how he loved to talk. Cassandra could use it to gauge where he was in her little sterile room. The blind fold she wore was soaked with sweat from the past several, hours? Days? Cassandra didn't know. Time was nothing here in the void. Sometimes he'd put ear plugs in as well. But not now. No now he wanted to talk.

“Your brother, he has made a request of me. A dying wish persay.” Tevren's voice trilled sweetly. “Not that he or you are in any position to make requests I thought it was touching none the less.”

'oh just get on with it' Cassandra thought bitterly. Listening to him was almost worse then being waterboarded at this point. She just wanted him to shut up and leave her alone. She doubted anything he said was true. C'Tirr would never ask anything from this maniac.

“He wanted me to let you live. He actually asked me most politely if I could please, spare your life. Isn't that just so touching?” Tevren asked. Though he wasn't expecting any response she was after all still gagged. She felt him moving near in the silence. Felt him run his fingers though her filthy knotted mess of hair.

“Call me sentimental, but I'm actually considering letting you live. Not for him of course. I'll admit it has been nice having someone to come home too. It is therapeutic like having a dog or a cat in a way.” He chuckled as he continued to look her over, the places he'd mended her broken ribs and the bones of her fingers and wrists, the bruises on her face, then the stab wounds he'd left only partially treated in her sides and lower back. “These look terrific. I'll admit I was worried a little about infection setting in while I was gone but you are one tough little cookie.” He stated pleased as though he was actually responsible for her ability to heal her own wounds.

He moved away again towards the cart. This made Cassandra's pulse jump. She could deal with his idle touching of her. But nothing good ever came from the cart. Thankfully he seemed to bypass it and simply circle the bio bed in slow almost stalking steps. His next words caught her off guard.

“I think I'm going to keep you. That is, if you are willing to behave. Follow the rules and play nice. You already know that you can not escape from here. If I don't kill you, well you would be killed on sight by the rest of the team.” He had moved in front of her and she felt the blindfold being pulled away before the bright glare of the white light hit her eyes. She flinched away, closing her eyes, trying to get them to adjust to the intrusive and painful world of sight again.

“Look at me Cassandra. I need to know that you are listening. It's important. I want your full attention now.”

She opened her eyes dispite the pain, knowing what it cost to disobey. There was a time and place for defiance and this was neither. She looked at his face. A youngish face, that might have been handsome under different circumstances, those black black eyes that bore into her. She felt herself cringe and pull involuntarily away as much as the restraints allowed.

“Good girl. Now I have a proposition for you. Before we get into it though I need to know. Do you want to live? Just nod yes or a shake for no. Because today is the day of making decisions. I have on the cart there a gift, a nightlock pill and if you don't want to be my pet anymore we can mercifully end it all right now.” He looked into her blue eyes. Seemed to study her a moment.

Cassandra pulled her gaze from his face and couldn't help but look towards the cart. Towards release, mercy he called it. The end of pain, of suffering, of everything… did she want to live?

“Cassandra, before you dwell to much on that idea, my other offer. If I let you live things will be different. You will still be my prisoner here. But, I will treat you better. I won't promise it will be all sunshine and rainbows. But you will have a bed to sleep on, three meals a day. And I will try to take better care of you.” He said the last as he reached out stroking a hand down her face almost caressing the deep purple bruises he'd left there only days prior.

“We will still play our games of course.” He chuckled as he saw the resentment fill her eyes. “But the consequences will be less…sever. You will fill my needs like a little squishy stress relief ball.” he laughed at his joke as he moved his hand to her hair again, she saw something cross his face, a mixture of disgust and dare she say pity “and in return I will do my best to fill yours. Like a bath. I dare say you stink to high heavens girl. Wouldn't that be nice? A hot shower, clean clothes and a good meal? I can be a friend to you. If you just do as I say.” his hand had slid down to her neck, it still bore the deep cuts of his grout from when he'd assaulted her before leaving her strapped to the biobed. Punishment for trying to escape, punishment for fighting back.

Cassandra shook her head vigorously. She'd rather die she decided. She'd rather die then live with him. She didn't want to be his anything anymore. His prisoner or his friend.

“That's too bad" he said with a sigh, "I guess I better get my worth out of you then, before you go.” The hand clamped painfully around her throat, choking off air. She felt his other hand reaching up to grab the flimsy filthy tank top she wore and pulled.

........
Present-

Cassandra awoke screaming. Her voice reverberated through the room. She was drenched in sweat, tangled in her bedding. Still, once she calmed down was glad to find it had been only a nightmare. A terrible nightmare. Thankfully it was subsiding now. Before she had to relive what had come next. Trembling, she untangled herself from the blankets and sat on the edge of her bunk and forced herself to breathe deeply.

“I'm safe here, I'm safe.” She said to herself softly. She looked at the mounted clock above her bed. 0330 she'd only slept a few hours. Still she already knew she wasn't going to try for any more. So she didn't bother with the bottle of sleep aides in her bedside drawer.

The stress of the upcoming mission was wearing on her. She was worried. Though she couldn't pinpoint just why. Just pre-mission jitters. That's all it was. Though it was also something deeper than that.

That feeling of helplessness that lingered. The factor of having someone dominating over her. She was worried about the boys. The men on the team and what could happen to them if something went wrong. The position of power being wielded over them. It was a stupid fear… everyone was completely capable of taking care of themselves. Trained to prevent such situations, not to mention that there were other women there to help protect them. The team, the family, everything was perfectly fine. Would be perfectly fine. She told herself sternly.

These circumstances are far different than what she'd suffered through. She'd been alone. If Somers or Falk or anybody had known where she was or what she was going through they would have moved heaven and Earth to save her. Nothing bad was going to happen on this mission.

Getting up she stripped her bed and calmed herself by making it back up again with fresh bedding. The familiar routine helped her take back control of her thoughts and feelings. Once the bunk was up to regulation she went off to get ready for the day. A shower, and a clean uniform. All shiny, all new. She'd go eat and do some studying up on the piloting courses, before starting her regularly scheduled duties at 0530. She was in control. She had this.


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