Desensitisation

Posted on 12 Jan 2021 @ 6:06pm by Lieutenant Commander Remington Dodd & Lieutenant Lamia ‘Mia’ Kildare
Edited on on 13 Jan 2021 @ 5:24pm

1,502 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: General Sim Postings
Location: Holodeck

[ON]

Lamia had stood by the arch of the holodeck for some time before finally stepping into the interaction of the program, she was using the one Chris had set up for her based on the events of hers and the others captured by the Orion slavers. She was trying to desensitize herself but it was still a horrifying site that made her stomach churn.

She had defeated several guards, letting her anger out with a scream as she did so. With no more guards thrown at her for now she walked to where the cell was that she and Dodd had shared. The memories were all there, events, as they’d happened with Remington, flashed through her mind.

Dodd was on his way to do a combat workout which he did daily since his counselling after the Orion incident. He approached the holodeck and noticed Lamia in the room with a program running. He suddenly had his memories and hers flood his mind. He thought he was over all of it, but something in her memories triggered his.

"I am sorry, I did not know anyone was in here," Dodd stated as he was frozen in his steps and staring directly at Lamia.

Lamia froze at the sound of Dodd’s voice, her mind connected to the memory of what had happened between them and at the same time she’d made a connection to Remington.

In a split second, they were back in the cell, the sites and sounds as they had been. Lamia stood looking at the body of the man Remington had killed to protect her. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”

"If I didn't do that, you likely would have been killed in his place," Dodd stated as his Ullian abilities were really making this mental flashback seem ultra-realistic. "I am being driven to have you and he was in the way and likely he would have killed you."

For Lamia she was in the cell, the flashback taking on it's own realistic reliving. She was back in the practically see-through outfit the female slaves wore, facing Dodd trying not to be drawn to him but failing miserably. She simply stood looking into his eyes.

Dodd was attempting to hold back but the moment was too strong, in the cell he was so vulnerable and driven mad by the pheromones. He killed to get to what his body told him to get to. The mind of Dodd was reliving the tragic moment and he was also aware of Lamia's mind and the interaction but yet their physical bodies were just frozen in place. In his mind, he ravaged Lamia and made her his and never realized it was a show for the Orions and part of a devious plan to breed more slaves for their foul purposes. Meanwhile, Dodd had tears pouring down his face as he thought this was all behind him and yet he was relieved to have it surface and work over it all again which could help desensitize him even more. He also at the same time felt the pain in Lamia as she too relived the moment in their minds.

The flashback was all too real for Lamia, she didn’t regret the short time she was pregnant but she’d still felt the guilt buried deep inside her, for her actions with Dodd. The betrayal she’d felt for making love with another man when she was in love with Chris. That guilt was finally working it’s way free.

Dodd could feel the guilt Lamia felt. He too had guilt as he was so in love and committed to Iria, but under the circumstances, they could not help themselves. Dodd had worked his guilt out but this was trying it all over again. He knew Lamia needed this release and he was glad it was happening. He would always hold a special place for his friend Lamia. He would never let her down or run around and hurt her. He would never give her up but he is and always would call her friend. The daughter they created in that horrible situation would have been the most loved child in the history of life. Dodd's mind finally shared with Lamia what he was sensing from the child moments before birth and passing. Her mind was reaching out to his as if to say goodbye when she was just arriving in the universe. He knew that moment was the one he would never forget but it gave him the push he needed to move on. Now Lamia would get that confirmation and hopefully, it would help.

Lamia’s eyes widened as she felt the final moments from their daughter as Dodd had experienced it. Snapping out of the memory of what happened in the cells, she sank to her knees heartbroken at what she’d felt.

Dodd felt Lamia's heartbreak and he could only stand there and watch her memory shift to their daughter. He was still attempting to be the stoic man while embracing Lamia's pain and sadness and letting her reach a point where she was no longer trapped by the moment but able to move onward as their daughter would have wanted for all.

All of this happened in a mere blink of an eye, for Dodd was not in the holodeck but a few minutes in total. The flood of memories and emotions of months of turmoil was relived in a few minutes as their minds were crisp and direct when it came to the topic at hand. "I hope you have found the peace you deserve," Dodd stated to someone who was always going to be special to him even if she was not going be his soulmate. "I am sorry for intruding and never meant for this to be the way for us to experience this once more."

Lamia took a few deep breaths and wiped her eyes, she hadn’t intended for her mind to reach out and envelop Dodd as well. “Remington I ...” She paused. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to ...” She took a deep breath. “Thank you for letting me touch our daughter’s mind one last time.”

"You are very welcome and thank you for making me remember that I was not alone in this and that you are a part of me as well. I did not know anyone was in here and I did not mean to interrupt your program. I am here for you for as long as you need me even after our weddings. I consider you my family and I hope Chris will understand that. You deserve the best life has to give and I truly feel after this, you will be able to go for it. Our daughter is the star that shines on me all the time and keeps me going. I know that if and when I do have children, she will still be there. I know that will be the same for you. If we ever embark for other adventures that lead us away from one another, I am still there for you. The love I feel for you is not like romantic love, but that of respect and friendship. I hope you understand what I am saying." Dodd stated as he too wiped tears away and regained his composure to be a support for Lamia as he stepped up to her for a comforting hug.

Lamia nodded and offered the best smile she could muster as she accepted the offer of a hug. Up until now, it would have felt out of place to hug Remington, but now she accepted it without question feeling the closeness of the friendship they had. “She may no longer be with us, but she’ll always be inside us.” Lamia hugged Remington for a few comforting moments before letting him go. “No matter what, I’ll always be there for you and for Iria. If there’s ever anything you need don’t hesitate to ask.”

Lamia looked around before taking a very deep breath. “I’m ready now ... a computer, shut down and delete the program.” She waited for the computer to obey her command as the program shutdown leaving them in a bare holodeck. “I can move on now, I have to move on.”

"I am proud of you making that statement based upon what just happened. You are a rock and this past experience helps you remain a firm fixture in the environment of Starfleet. I feel like you helped me come to peace and I can never repay you enough." Dodd added as he stood next to Lamia with his hand on her shoulder.

“It’s me who owes you Remington” Lamia offered a smile. “You gave me what I needed. Some peace.” She nodded before they both headed on their way.

[OFF]

Lieutenant Lamia Arderne
Asst Chief Counsellor

Lieutenant Remington S. Dodd
Chief Engineering Officer

 

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