The problem with PTSD

Posted on 19 Jun 2021 @ 11:57am by Lieutenant Lamia ‘Mia’ Kildare & Lieutenant JG Ted Silver
Edited on on 19 Jun 2021 @ 3:03pm

1,290 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: General Sim Postings
Location: Counsellor’s office

[ON]

Lamia was sitting at the desk in her office, a pile of PADDs to one side of her and another pile of PADDs on the other side. She wondered just how Iria managed to be part of two departments with all the paperwork that piled up.

No one ordered Ted to do this. But he knew deep in his heart. That this had to be done. For not only any future he had on the Tomcat. But also for his own health. Silver had to see a counsellor. He had heard that Lamia was quite good. So he made his way to her office. He pressed the door chime and waited for her to allow him in.

Lamia looked up from the PADD she was reading. “Come in” she smiled warmly as the door swished open to reveal Ted Silver. “Ensign... Ted, please come in and make yourself at home.”

Ted took a seat. He glanced at the floor before speaking.

“ I need to speak to you on a professional basis. Only I don’t feel so great up here.” Ted said pointing to his forehead.

"That's what I'm here for" Lamia smiled warmly. "Would you like anything to drink?"

Ted thought for a moment.

“ An Ice cold glass of carbonated spring water with a dash of lime juice please.” He asked.

“Coming right up!” Lamia smiled as she walked over to the replicator returning a few moments later with Ted’s drink. She placed it on the coffee table before taking a seat. “So, tell me how you’re feeling.”

Ted took a sip of his drink.

" Guilty. I keep going over this feeling in my head. Down on the planet, one of the bluegill zombies came at me from the lake. Thompson shot it in the head. I felt glad to be safe. But later when we were back up here I felt ashamed. This was once a living creature , just like us. With hopes and dreams, it could have been somebody's loved one. Then it hit me what if I had messed the away mission up? I could have got you guys killed or worse." He explained to her.

Lamia nodded as she listened, making shorthand notes on her PADD for future reference. “Those poor people down there were long past help before we got to the planet, it’s perfectly natural to feel guilty. I’d be more concerned if it didn’t bother you. As for what if’s... they haunt you, trust me I know!” She paused. “You didn’t mess up and you didn’t get anyone hurt, you should be very proud of that.”

Ted nodded. She was quite correct. So why did he not feel that way?

“ Everyone keeps telling me that. The only person who does not is me. I know it’s silly. But I just cannot get over this feeling of guilt. If only. This keeps going round in my head. Believe me Lamia I would do anything to be like everyone else. How can rid me of these feelings?” Ted asked.

Lamia offered an understanding gaze. "Ted you have PTSD, it's a condition that takes time to recover from. Your feelings of blame, fear, uncertainty, worry, all stem from your condition. If you want we could try medication to help with your mood, in my opinion relying on medication isn't the best way to go." She paused for a moment. "I'd like to keep a regular schedule of appointments with you, plus I'd like you to keep a diary. It's not something you have to show me if you don't want to, it's just for you to write your thoughts and feelings in. Sometimes it can help to get those feelings out."

Silver wanted to try anything that could help him get over these feelings. But he knew from past experiences with relatives that taking medication for PTSD problems only led to more problems.

“ Yes, That sounds excellent. But could we lay off the medication? I know it can lead to problems further down the line. Um..... is this going to end my career on the Tomcat?” Ted asked

Lamia shook her head, “Most certainly not, though I do recommend that should you be feeling you can’t cope with your duties, you allow someone else to take your place on away party duty. If you have a breakdown in the field it’s going to get you killed.”

Ted understood that. But surely the next mission would not be so bad? Would it?

“ Understood. But hopefully, our next mission won’t be this bad. Plus I suspect will get some R&R now won’t we?” He asked her.

“Hopefully we will, yes” Lamia smiled. “Take the time to relax and to de-stress it’ll do you good. Anytime you need me, or Lieutenant Walon we’ll be available.”

Ted considered that for a moment.

“ You know that was the first time I was in charge of an away mission. To start with it felt good but as I thought about things. It all went bad. I am not usually this stressed...” he said

Lamia nodded. “Like you said it was your first time in charge, that adds a whole new dimension to stress levels. It wasn’t like you had the easiest of missions to be in charge of.”

Ted nodded he was feeling a little better now.

“ I feel a little better now. To be honest. Maybe it’s just delayed stress after all?” He said.

“It’s possible” Lamia nodded. “Just don’t panic if the feelings persist, I’m here whenever you need to talk” she smiled warmly.

“Thanks and also for your help before. I must have looked a right sight. A grown man acting like a frightened mouse. I am not usually like all this. But there is me thinking of myself. How are you doing?” Ted asked.

“You didn’t look a sight at all, we all have bad times.” Lamia smiled. “Me? I’m... okay I guess. I have my own demons to fight but I’m getting there.”

Ted nodded.

"It's all too easy for us all to forget that even counsellors. Have their own problems to deal with... But who do you guys see? It cannot be easy for you. Although after what we all faced. I doubt any of us will come out this clean. I just hope it ends here. No one else should have to go through that." Silver said

Lamia nodded in agreement, “We can only hope Ted, I didn’t see what you saw but just the briefing was enough to make me grateful that I wasn’t included. Anytime you need to talk about it just let me know.”

Ted nodded. Then he looked at the padd. he had brought with him.

" Do you wish me to make a regular booking with you? Say once a month maybe? Unless of course as you say. I get the need to speak with you again? " Ted asked

“I think regular sessions would be a very good idea.” Lamia smiled. “How’s about we say you come and see me again in a week, if you need to see me before then that’s fine too.”

Ted gave her a nod.

“ Yes, I believe that would be fine for me. You know I feel a little better already. “ He said

“Then our session here has worked for now” Lamia smiled warmly. “You’ve done well today you should be proud of yourself.”

Ted stood and smiled. He actually felt better about things. Thanking her he left the room.

[OFF]

Ensign Ted Silver
Deputy Chief Science Officer

Lieutenant Lamia Arderne
Deputy Chief Counsellor

 

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