Threads Of A Life

Posted on 30 Mar 2023 @ 8:54pm by Lieutenant Lamia ‘Mia’ Kildare & Lieutenant JG Shoniara T’ghann Dex
Edited on on 31 Mar 2023 @ 9:25am

1,312 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: General Sim Postings
Location: Counsellors Office
Timeline: Current

[ON]

For the third time, Dex had failed her meditation despite Puss’s best efforts to help by aligning their brain waves. Disgusted with herself she paced her quarters which did not take long. Ten paces, by Fifteen paces again and again and again. She poured herself a cup of spiced tea but even that did not help. This was a dangerous time for a recovering addict and she knew if she had some J’heek she might have turned to the drug. Despite not wanting to involve anyone else she decided to approach the Chief Counsellor whom she had not yet met. She looked at her combadge hoping it would fail when she activated it.

=/\= Dex to Lieutenant Arderne =/\= it worked and she waited for a reply.

Lamia was in her office when Dex’s voice came over the comms. =/\= Arderne here Lieutenant, what can I do for you? =/\=

=/\= Sorry to bother you but I would like to see you when you are free =/\=

Checking her appointment schedule Lamia was glad to see she had time to see Dex right away. =/\= I’m in my office now if you’re available Dex? =/\=

Although this was her scheduled rest time Dex checked that she was not needed on the bridge. =/\= I will be right there thank you Counsellor and, is it alright if I bring my Sehlat?=/\=

=/\= A Sehlat? Unusual but it’s not a problem, feel free Dex. I’ll see you soon. =/\=

It took a few moments for her to rouse Puss and persuade him with chicken that coming for a walk with her was better than dreaming of fresh conquests in his homeland. However, finally, he unwound, licked her hand and ate the chicken. As he walked by her side along the corridor people stared at the huge shaggy cat. Most smiled, and some frowned. Eventually, they arrived at their destination and Dex pressed the chime.

Lamia smiled as she greeted Dex at the door, “Come in Dex, and... wow! That’s some cat!” Lamia grinned. “Make yourselves at home.”

Dex smiled chose a comfortable chair and sat down. Puss lay down beside her and could be heard snoring for a couple of minutes. “Puss is harmless unless you try to hurt me physically. He is my registered ‘service animal’. He helps me to meditate and that, in a way is what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Lamia nodded as she took a seat. “Okay, I take it that you’re having problems meditating?”

Dex sat crossed her legs, then uncrossed them and stood up. “I have never been what you would call a ‘good Vulcan’. I never meditated until after my family was killed. My now Bond Brother took me to the Monks on Selaya where they tried to teach me. They then found I lacked a certain ….anyway Puss’s brain waves are attuned to mine.” She paced a bit and sat back down. “When Puss and I meditate together I am able to do so. Since I have arrived on board I have failed to do so and now I am beginning to notice the lack of it. I feel tense, wound tight, I cannot sleep and it is affecting my work.”

Lamia nodded as she made a note on the PADD in front of her. “Has anything changed apart from the change of ship? Anything that could account for the change? Have you ever had problems when you’ve moved between new assignments before?”

Dex shrugged and looked at the ceiling. “No, not really but lately I have been thinking about Shasta, how old she would be now, what she would look like…..I…..I suppose I am lonely.”

Lamia looked at her PADD which contained Dex’s personnel file. “Shasta was your daughter. I’m very sorry for your loss. I lost a daughter, so I understand how difficult it is.” She paused. “Do you socialise much?”

“No, I do not socialise at all. The hours are not conducive to doing so, and I find it difficult.”

Lamia nodded. “As hard as it sounds, if you’re lonely socialising is a good way to make new friends. First things first though, we need to help you get back on track with your meditation. You said earlier that you lacked a certain...? She gave Dex a curious look. “A certain what?”

“A neurochemical transmitter in the brain, always missing in Vulcan human hybrids, Mark, my husband used to say …. Never mind.” She stood once again and turned away not wanting her to see the tears in her eyes. “You know for a long time after they died that was all I wanted to do. I tried various ways of dying, dangerous pursuits, alcohol and finally J’heek, my go-to drug of choice. Without T’ghrek my bond brother, I would be dead now and I often think he should have left me alone.”

Lamia nodded. “I know exactly how you feel Dex. After my daughter... died I felt so lost. Grief takes many forms, and makes you feel like you want to die. Drive you to do what you normally wouldn’t do.”

“Yes, that’s it, I want to be normal but I am neither human nor Vulcan, I still feel married to the wonderful man Mark was yet my soul cries out to find someone, yet I feel guilty about it all. You see it was my fault they died that night. I still wear the scars on my back…” she stood embarrassed. “I think I should go. I am sorry to have bothered you, I will find some way to sort this out.”

“Dex... stop.” Lamia stood motioning for Dex to sit back down. “Don’t be afraid to talk to me, what’s said here won’t go any further it’s just between us. If it helps I don’t somehow think your husband would have wanted you to spend your life alone.”

Dex shrugged and sat back down. “I know he would not but you see why I cannot stop punishing myself? If I could just meditate. I am new here, the ACMO, Counsellor my life is collapsing around me what shall I do? Please, please help me.”

“I will Dex, that’s a promise!” Lamia offered a supportive smile. “Now you’re the Doctor, think like one. What would you prescribe for a patient in your situation?”

Dex thought long and hard. “It’s a Vulcan problem so I would prescribe the services of a Vulcan Master.” She laughed, “is there one on the ship?”

Lamia shook her head. “Not that I know of Dex, but should one be required urgently then I can request help from Starfleet, or the Captain. Have you tried the holodeck? There are numerous programs there that might be of assistance to you, including some based on Vulcan.”

Dex visibly brightened, “no I had never thought of that, it might work. There is an exercise called the V’orchAra that I can perform before the holodeck. It lifts the mind and makes it prepared to take something that is not real. But it takes two to perform. Would you be willing to perform it with me? All you have to do is say some Vulcan responses to mine over the flame in my quarters prior to my going to the holodeck.”

Lamia nodded. “I would be honoured Dex, after all, I’m here to help you. Just let me know when you need me.”

“Thank you, I will.” She turned and left feeling slightly better that someone else knew and would help.

[OFF]

 

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