Brooding is not the answer.

Posted on 19 Aug 2023 @ 8:09am by Lieutenant JG Faith Benson & Lieutenant JG Ted Silver
Edited on on 01 Sep 2023 @ 2:08pm

1,079 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: General Sim Postings
Location: Mess hall
Timeline: Current

[ON]

- Mess hall -

Ted was angry. More angry than common sense or being an officer in Starfleet aloud. He wanted to hit something or someone. He liked Haze and now his friend was dead. He had wanted to be the one ending Haze's killer's life. He hoped the imploding anomaly and the exploding colony would do that. But he was not sure. They could have survived? Just to see a body. This was the bluegill zombies all over again. Haze should not have died.

To calm down before his mood booked a one-way ticket to the CO. Ted walked into the Mess Hall. He ordered a mug of decaffeinated green tea and took a seat away from others. He hoped the aura of ‘ leave me alone ‘ he was giving off would keep people away.

'Leave me alone world,' that seemed like a place to go to instead of avoiding the person like most might do. Faith had her drink already and had watched Ted walk in. So she got up, walked over, and sat down without asking.

Ted glanced up. He wanted to be left alone but he did not wish to be rude to Faith. That was why he did not change tables.

“ I am not really good company at the moment Faith,” Ted said

"That's exactly why I sat down," said as she keyed in something that she ordered from said menu.

" Sorry. It's just we lost Haze on the away team. Those Terran monsters killed him. I managed to shut their gateway down. Quite violently hopefully some of them got caught up in it. Fried their insides in a very painful way." Ted said

"I'm sorry that that happened. Not everyone deals with things like this in the same way. I know one way that always helps, to get it out and past it. Sure, you'll still be sad or angry, but you'll be more open to healing later from the pain."

“ The thing is I should not feel this way. I am just a science officer one of the background guys. It’s not my place to want revenge or carry it out. Maybe…..maybe nothing sorry how are you doing?” Ted asked

"I'm fine," waves her hand idly behind her. "Why wouldn't you want to feel an explosion of emotions? You knew him didn't you, outside of shifts. Even on shifts, on missions right? Considered him a friend?"

“ Yes. I don’t usually make too many friends.” Ted said

"Sounds like you did." To the point.

“ Yes. But he died what’s the point of making friends when in the end you lose them one way or another? I would rather have no friends at least that way if they die. It won’t affect me because I never knew them.” Ted angrily said

"Because it's the experiences with those friends and loved ones that matter. The road traveled. You and others also keep them alive in memories."

“ Until we get too old and forget them. I had an Uncle once who I used to visit as a kid. He would always call me Teddy Boy. Because I used to drag around this moth-eaten stuffed toy teddy bear. Even when I was older he still called me that. But as he got older his memory started to fade. He would get angry if he could not remember someone’s face. In the end, I was barred from seeing him as he would fly into a rage due to not recognising me. No, it’s best not to get close because whatever memories you have will fade with age. Then again we could all be killed in an instant if the anti-matter containment failed.” Ted brooded.

Faith sighed a little bit. "I'm sorry to hear that. It still goes to say, you remember, just like the nickname, Teddy Boy. You cherish that and those memories don't you."

“ Yes. But it’s hard to remember him as the nice old man with a pocket full of boiled sweets. I keep seeing this enraged red-faced swearing old man. Waving his stick around and spitting because he did not know who I was.” Ted said

"Are you sure that's what it is? Or you just don't want to let it go." Faith's head tilted ever so slightly to the right. "Why would that be."

“ Ok…… do you remember the Blue Gill incident?” Ted asked

"Which one?"

“ It was my first time in charge of an away team. We went down just to take samples and we were attacked by a whole army of Blue Gil Zombies. The away team only just got away even a scratch could have led to infection. I freaked out afterwards probably why this collar is light on pips. Since then I seem to feel that every person on this ship is like family even your good self.” Ted said

"Ah. I remember I wasn't on that away team. I do understand what you mean about how people can start to feel like family." Faith gave a light smile.

“ Sorry. Just being silly. Brooding here like a newbie or is it a nugget? I should know by now. Danger and loss come with the uniform and brooding is not the answer.” Ted said

"Everyone deals with loss in different ways. Some seclude, some cry it out, some never let go, some get angry. You get the idea. The one thing no one should ever do is let it linger and control them. I'm not saying it won't take time, some longer than others. Just don't let it become unhealthy."

“ You’re quite correct. Besides if I ever want this collar to gain more weight. I do need to control my feelings. I mean in our line of work sadly Haze is not going to be the only one we will lose.” Ted said

"That would be a good idea," Faith nodded. "It's fine to goat someone on the stand into losing their cool, but we can't."

“ Anyway, I have samples to stick my nose into. This has been great and thanks for the advice.” Ted said

"You're welcome," Giving Ted a lightly warm smile."I'll see you around I'm sure."

[OFF]

 

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